Thursday, February 23, 2012

"Date With The Tax Man"

Today is also D.L. Hammonds Déjà Vu blogfest to which we are to post a blog post that didn't get any respect of love in 2012. After I figured out how to do that, which didn't include keywords of "searching Davy Jones' Locker" in it, I found it and all I had to do was click "all time" I was quickly able to locate mine. At the time I wrote this, I had 9 Followers to my blog. I called it,  "My Date With the Tax Man" which got two little single readers and a comment. Oh my goodness! Does this mean that I should hide with shame? Maybe it was because everyone was dealing with their own tax fiasco to worry about my tax worries! Yeah, that was probably it. I am thinking that this was the same time I was getting those little blogging reminders from under the Internet Bridge also. Amazing though, I've learned they love the postings about Hillbilly Mishaps. That is way off topic to the blogfest though. Thanks to D.L. for the opportunity to revive a post from many months ago! Have your own post that didn't get as much love as it deserved? Well, click over to the Déjà Vu posting and post the link!

I had the dreaded task this week of getting taxes done. Why is it starting to feel as if that day rates up there with say a colonoscopy? This year, we had a new tax man, and much older. Our regular tax guy took the day off or something. I could tell right off the bat that this man is very serious of his role of tax preparer, because he didn't seem to appreciate any of my nervous humor. For instance,
asking again why we can't claim the dog. "She's lazy, doesn't have a job, lays around the house all day, eats all the food" and then I whisper, "I don't know who the heck her father is." Our regular man would have laughed. I think I throw that one in every year, for shits and giggles. This guy, "John", he laughed nervously as he started talking laws. I just said, "I don't need to hear the tax law, it was actually just a joke." I swear, he was acting as nervous as I was.
Then we are asked, "Is English the only language spoken in your home?" to which I answer, "no, slang." He gives me this look as I notice little sweat beads on his head. Well, theres a change, normally I am the one who is sweating like a chicken at a chinese market. "Pardon me?" So I say, "Slang words. Never mind my kids are teaching me some slang words and I thought it would count." Much later, his fingers typing away all the information,"all done." Finally, he finished after what felt like grueling hours. To that I ask, " wait, am I going to need a drink to hear about it? I brought a shot with me just for this." Finally, I saw what looked like a little hint of a smile. It actually wasn't as bad as I thought, but is only a just a dent in the national debt. Seeing this, I asked him, "Is everyone contributing to the national debt this year, because it sort of feels as if they are trying to take it all from us." His hands are starting to shake a little by this time.
I think he tries to break a little of the ice when he tells us that next year they may allow a deduction for spay and neuter of pets. Damn, the dog has already been spayed, but I ask, "What if we get spayed or neutered?" He says, "well that would fall under the question I asked, do you have any major medical bills." I look at hubby and said, "thats it, you're getting neutered." To which he says, "why me, why don't you go get spayed?" This poor man, is just looking at us as if we have totally lost our minds. I am not sure why he asked us, again, but he asked us, "Is English the only language spoken in your household?" To which I answer, "Wait, is there a deduction if we do?" He replies, "no, I really don't know why they ask that question." I said, "well shoot if you would have said yes, I would have went home, ordered Rosetta Stone and came back." Hubby bursts out with a, "no habla" as if he is trying to help this situation. I am hoping that John doesn't quit, or had a major heart attack or stroke after we left. He does need to lighten up a little. Life at the tax office is serious enough.
C’est La Vie ©Gossip_Grl 

18 comments:

  1. The tax people I think seriously need to smile a little more and laugh on occasion. : ) I am still wondering about poor John tho. After we left he either regretted becoming a tax person or he had a good laugh. Hopefully he laughed a little. : )

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  2. Hope next year you find one with a sense of humor!

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  3. @Alex- I am sort of hoping our regular guy is still there! And if it's the guy John, hoping he remembers us otherwise we'll just have to break him in! :) They do need to just smile a little! Tax time is way too serious enough as it is! :)

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  4. hey i speak slang in my house too! ;)

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  5. Too funny, lol!

    And I actually agree with you about claiming the dog -- I've been pushing for it for years!

    Happy Do-Over day!

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  6. @Cassie- It's good knowing I'm not the only one trying to follow along with the new slang vs the hillbill-e-bonics I grew up with! :)

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  7. @Chris- Hilarious comment! I have tried claiming the dog ever since my last little deduction (oops child) left the nest. Maybe if we all just keep mentioning it, it will one day happen huh? I mean we didn't AKC register her and get her chipped for nothing! :)

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  8. That was a golden oldie and a reminder that tax season is upon us. Last year we decided we weren't going to pay our tax service a fortune just to enter our data into a computer. Instead we paid less on TurboTax and entered everything into the computer ourselves with the same, maybe better results.

    Lee
    Tossing It Out

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  9. @Lee- OMGosh I didn't even realize how close that time is upon us until now! :/ I may have to look into Turbo Tax. Haven't used that type of method before. About 8 yrs ago the company that my hubby worked for went under. When we got the W-2 for taxes their accountant made a mistake in the figures. The next year we were audited because of that mistake It was discovered we were over paid and they charged us for their mistake. We had to pay for it! Since then, we have used a tax service.

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  10. OMG, that made me LOL -- and I needed a laugh today.

    Does talking in acronyms count as using a language besides English in the home???

    Seriously, you need to find an accountant with a sense of humor. Although I'm not sure they come in that flavor.

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  11. Sheesh. Some people have no sense of humor. Doesn't mean we have to stop trying, though, right? You sound my kinda gal. Count me in as your newest groupie.

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  12. Yeesh, duly noted, no sarcasm with the tax man. Too funny, though. I've never been to someone to have my taxes prepared, but I imagine we'll be doing that soon.

    Shannon at The Warrior Muse

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  13. @Diane- Glad you enjoyed the posting, and I am not sure on the acronym's I can ask this year. :) I still have no clue about that question or maybe he was just trying to cover up his nervousness. :)
    @Susan- I'm glad you stopped by from the linky list. I just read some of your blog postings and am still laughing! I am definitely a new fan of your blog!
    @Shannon- up until my hubby's work place made a big error I was letting my sister do them bcuz she is a tax ppl person! Now, the next year when we learned of the foo fa the year before it took a lot of convincing the hubby that it was because of the company he worked for and not some family conspiracy!

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  14. Many thanks to those who dropped by from the linky list to read my Deja Vu posting, and also to DL Hammonds for the opportunity to revive a posting in his Deja Vu Blogfest!

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  15. So funny. I never feel more awkward than when I'm trying to joke with someone who has no sense of humor. But I keep trying...

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  16. ROTFLMAO!!!!!

    I think slang was one of my electives in college! :)

    Thank you taking part with us!!

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  17. @Jenny- Good for you! Never give up trying to joke especially when the situation arises! Of course I was probably more nervous than John the Tax Guy! :)
    @D.L.- Hilarious! I figured I have the HillbillE-bonics down I would take some slang! :) Thanks again for the opportunity to bring a post back to life! And read so many other great posts along the way!

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