- I'd rather not watch the Hee Haw Channel tonight
- I think I'll just drive around that mud hole honey
- When we retire we are moving up North.
- I'm checking the stocks page in the local paper
- Be careful with those fireworks they're dangerous
- We should read the directions first
- What's a moon pie?
- I didn't know it was dangerous to ride in the back of a pickup
- I wanna be just like the Kardashian's
- Should I wear matching socks today?
- Honey I'm think'in 'bout trad'in my pickup in for a smart car
- I'll just have the salad please
- I'd rather listen to rap music
- Honey those pants makes your ass look too fat
- There's no guns in this house officer
- Pardon me, but do you have any Grey Poupon?
- Can you turn on some Barry Manilow?
- Let's call in a professional before I try the duck tape or silicone
- I'd rather be shopping than hunting or fishing
- Does lemon grass water and bean sprouts come with the meal?
- I'll have a diet coke
- I'll have the taffy instead of goo goo clusters
- I'm gonna take English Literature for $1,000 Alex
- Zima or Heineken?
- Let's make a donation to Peta this year
- I think those tires on my truck are too big
- That fire looks very dangerous
- I'd rather text than watch NASCAR
- I think Big Gulp cups should only be 12 ounces
- I'll just have a water
- Can I have a knife and fork to eat my chicken?
- Nope I'm not gonna drink this weekend
- I think I've had too much alcohol to drink
- Be careful lighting that BBQ grill
- Let's read the directions before using the Turkey Fryer
- Can you please pass the Parkay?
- We really shouldn't drink before riding that lawn mower (or tractor)
- I really need to clean up the yard (Submitted by Alex J Cavanaugh)
- "I'm bored with fishing." (submitted by Your Daily Dose)
- "Hunting grosses me out." (submitted by Your Daily Dose)
- "I'd rather be sleeping at 4 am than sitting in a deer stand." (submitted by Your Daily Dose)
- "It's tacky having your old couch on the front porch." (submitted by Your Daily Dose)
- "Is that a Skoal ring on your back pocket?" (submitted by Your Daily Dose)
- "I want unsweetened tea." (submitted by L.Diane Wolfe)
One popular saying around here is, "You so ugly your mom had to set you in a cornfield and feed ya with a sling shot!"
"She's so skinny you couldn't hit her with a handful of corn." (Submitted by Magical Mystical Mimi)
"You might be a redneck Jedi if your lightsaber has duct tape on it." (submitted by StrangePegs)
Shoot 'Round here those lightsabers are made of cardboard after the paper towels are gone (or at Christmas the cardboard left over from wrapping paper also makes a good light saber) duct taped together!
I am sure to come up with more of these And of course I welcome any in comment!