Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Oh No They Di'int: You Can Do Hard Time For Farting in W.Va.

'Let It Rip' The new fart panties
Well folks today is time again for another Oh No They Di'int. This story is once again plucked off the pages of West Virginia news stands!!! 

Why is it that the word fart, as obnoxious as it is can make people smile or laugh? Is it the word itself, or is it that the word is associated with a certain sound? 

I read the story about a new product on the market called the deodorizer fart pants. Boy what an ingenious idea to the guy or gal who is the think tank behind this invention!  This could be a product to watch on the NYSE, ya know? Get yours now while supplies last! This is something the hubby needs for those times that I have been victim to his dutch ovens. This product will no doubt become a popular item, if marketed here in Hillbilly country because of a new crime on the books. 

So what if the cop tells you, "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do can be used against you in a court of law!?" What if at that moment you have to fart?

Well folks apparently here in West By God if you fart after being Mirandarized that too shall count against you! And you can and will be charged with felony assault on officer if by chance you should pass gas in the vicinity of any officer of the law. It's called battery on a police officer 'round here!

Just ask Jose Cruz, a West Virginia man who was not only charged with a DUI but was charged with felony battery of a police officer when after the D.U.I arrest, he farted in the same room he was being held in and questioned by police. 

Jose's defense attorney said that when his client gets nervous or anxious he tends to pass gas and that the cops made him nervous. That's no excuse according to the police.

According to the press release, Ptlm. Parsons said that during the breathalyzer testing, 
'Mr Cruz first stated he was having an asthma attack. Mr Cruz then farted and told Ptlm. Parsons, "Here put that in your breathalyzer and analyze it"  In addition to the DUI count, Cruz was also charged with battery on a police officer for the farting incident.' 
Mr Cruz is now facing two and half years for the crime of "farting in a police station." I'm thinking Mr Cruz needs to maybe wear one of those medical alert bracelets in the future, huh? It sure would be a lot cheaper!

Anyway for shits and giggles, Here is the actual warrant that was issued by a WV Magistrate for this bodily gas assault on the thin blue line.  

I told hubby he should stop playing the fart game with the grand kiddies immediately as the game of "Here, pull my finger" could actually land them behind bars one day.

Resources for this post:
Pic Credit and Product Fart Underpants: Someone Needs A Colonic
Story: The Smoking Gun


  1. "Pull my finger" would be assult. The fart would be battery!

    FUnny stuff!

  2. JoeH Hilarious! :) At least with this'un Case Closed and it didn't take Sherlock and Watson to solve it!!! :)

  3. We were discussing Poo Pourri over dinner recently. You put it in the toilet, and it elminates odors.

    I did not start the discussion, btw.

  4. Susie: That's funny! A lil store here sells it as a spray! :)

  5. What a ridiculously bogus charge!! I hope they don't get away with that!

  6. Thus we never invite the PD to watch Saturday football with me, my son, and Scrappy.

  7. Oh my. That is ridiculous. I can't believe that will hold up.

  8. So funny. Thanks for the laugh tonight.


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