Monday, September 8, 2014

Some Southern Hospitality: Helping Neighbors In Need

Last week I posted about Trailer Parks vs Subdivisions and just wanted to tell you that several of the neighbors have come up to the hubby saying that he should help the one neighbor who is driving down the home prices in the neighborhood. Oh really!!! I ask, since when did the hubby get elected to that committee?

My hubby works hard. He gets up at 3:30 each morning and has a five hour commute to and from work each day. When he gits home he's tired. Yes he helped one senior citizen lady in the
neighborhood but then she went all weird on him last summer.  He don't have no time for the helper committee. When he gits home he just wants to strip down to his under bloomers and have a beer. He deserves that for all his hard work! Some people just got to test the wuters and see for themselves now don't they?

On Tuesday while we were mowing and doing our own yard work Bitsy De'Breaf and her husband Brandt from across the street come over spewing all their goodness to the hubby and telling him how he should help so and so clean up the place a bit. This talk didn't sit real good with the hubby. I didn't even have time to stop the mower and warn'em that with the temps over a hundred that hubby came home grumpy, tired and suffer'n with butt mud from working all day outside in the heat. I looked over at the hubby and... First

Let me tell ya a little about Brandt and Bitsy. They are transplants to the state. The first thing they asked us after moving into the neighborhood is Where are all the stills? Really? Bitsy thought everyone in dubya vee has one! 
Brandt is a compulsive gambler and he's not real good at it either. Spending all their money for bills on gambling. Never won a thing back in compensation. He is also trying to get disability because he is a lazy, no good sack of @#$% ne'er mind. When Brandt's not at the gambling shack pulling the handles on the slots (which he claims is his job) he is laying on the couch eating tater chips and junk food and is now up to a whopping 500 lbs. Yay for Brandt!!! Now according to his wife Bitsy she says the Doc told him he needs to be on a strict diet and exercising but not Brandt. Oh no! So now they both think the doc is conspiring against Bubba to keep him from disability because he said Lose Weight. Git a job Brandt!!!! Anyhoo...

I look over at the hubby and saw the look on his face and his body language and I knew it Dang! They done ticked off the wrong person ta'day! I have known this man for thirty five years and never ticked him off!!! I've seen him mad... at other folks! The next thing I knew hubby was standing at the door to our outbuilding...

And said, Ya wanna see me helping? Cuz I am in a #$%& ing helping mood right now! And he cranked the chainsaw over revving it up four, five, six, seven, eight times... Smoke poured from it. I thought he was going to blow it up! I was hoping one of them would have asked "what're ya gon do with the chainsaw? Neither did but just the look on Bitsy and Brandt's faces.... priceless!
Now I didn't know ole Brandt could move so fast either. Or Bitsy for that matter. But I like to think that his doc would'a been real proud to see him move the way he did and git a lil bit of exercise in doing it.

I've heard it said from the transplants here that we are one of the nicest folks you will ever know or meet. And we are! Just don't piss us off!!! For the past several days whenever we are out they quickly shut their curtains.

The word transplant to us living here means- Those folks who move here from other states driving their cars with their out of state license plates to avoid paying the property taxes while their kids go to local schools and we pay out the ying yang in school levy's.

Resources for this post:
Story from my neighborhood
pic credit: Movie Clips Bend Over I'll Show You

8 comments:

  1. LOL damn - remind me never to piss him off :)

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  2. Sigh... the world as it is... the minority who take responsibility facing the majority who do not.

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  3. Optimistic LOL!!! The hubby told me before that he had just been waiting for someone to say something stupid to him. :)

    In the hubby's defense all of the grown up bushes, over grown brush and weeds- it will take a chain saw to clear it all. Bitsy and Brandt for some reason think that it is our job. They're trying for disability. They even think that we should be out shoveling everyone's driveways when it snows.
    The hubby has had enough of the stupid. :)

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  4. CW We just don't understand why these two fools think that we should be the only ones. Bitsy stopped me one day and I suggested to her why not do this as a community project. All the neighbors in the development helping but she thinks everyone but them. That is when the negotiations about the community project go sour. :/

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  5. I can see Brandt waddling fast as well! Priceless. Hopefully they don't bug you again for a really long time.

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