Monday, September 15, 2014

USRSF: West Virginia To Join The Fight

Did anyone catch the speech last Wednesday? Ya'll know the one I'ma talk'in 'bout. The attempt at explaining that a known Islamic terrorist group going around beheading Americans are really just jihadist, militia trained pussy cats in disguise? Yeah! That's the one! 

I don't know if it was my A.D.D. that kicked in but it was then at that very minute that I took out my
hearing device, picked up the remote control and said, look honey, Duck Dynasty's on and flipped the
switch. Oh come on! It was either that or the movie, Dictators and at the moment I had 'bout enough of calling bullshit like in the card game! Yes indeedy! 

It was then that I hobbled over to the computer because for one my knee was hurting again and because I remembered something that I had saved from a few years ago. I read it again and thought, OMG this is brilliant

From The White House- The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the "United States Redneck Special Forces"

These good ole boys representing the USRSF come from Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas and West Virginia. These fellas will be dropped off in Iraq and Syria and have been given only the following facts about the terrorist group ISIS+ IL:

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.

3. They taste just like chicken.

4. They don't like beer, pickup trucks, country music, or Jesus.

5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

We expect the problem with these terrorists to be over by Friday!!!!!

Right now posting this and all I'm kinda feeling 'bout the same way comedienne Jeff Dunham must have felt the first time he took Achmed, The Dead Terrorist out on stage. Ya know? Can you imagine that? All of the secret service, homeland security, FBI and others scrambling on high alert to get over where he was performing and pretty danged quick. It must've caused quite a scene! 


Update: I hear that Eau de' Goats Ass is working




What the...? Wait a danged minute here! Is that a drone or a hummingbird at my hummingbird feeder?  BRB!!!

Resources:
The Redneck Army was written by unknown
Picture Demotivational Posters
Youtube Eau de Goat's Ass Permits
©Gossip_Grl  All Rights Reserved

11 comments:

  1. Optimistic I guess someones gotta get the job done! :)

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  2. You need sensativity training! Islam is the religion of peace. That head chopping thing is misunderstood, if everyone just did as they say and believe what they tell you to then it would end...maybe...at least a little. Now go put on your burka, your ankles are showing and I may have to rape someone...or a goat...peace.

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  3. JoeH Hilarious! I just spit my coffee on everything.

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  4. Brilliant idea! That would solve the problem.

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  5. Alex There are some good ole boys 'round here that don't even know Osama Bin Laden is dead. They still have Wanted posters around their property. I know they'd love an opportunity! :)

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  6. We have quite a few "thug" type gentlemen in the southeast side of town who would probably also be effective if offered, say. a carton of Newports for each head...

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  7. I totally missed that speech. I think I was watching X-Files reruns on Netflix.
    You have a new name and new look. It's nice.

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  8. CW Hilarious on the cartons of Newport cigs! Read that and couldn't get a song outta my head!

    "I smoke old stogies I have found
    Short, but not too big around" :)

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  9. Ruth Sometimes I wish we just had Netflix, but the hubby needs television to watch his football games and racing.
    Yep on the change. It was time for new direction! :)

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