Friday, October 17, 2014

Oh No They Di'int: Gunfight Up Yonder

Today is time again for another Oh No They Di'int! Now I can't recall if I've tole ya but here where I live I am smack dab in the middle with the Appalachian Mountain chain jest a few miles to the west of me and the Blue Ridge Mountains jest a few miles to the East.

Some folks might call this town a holler 'cept we don't. Not anymore anyway. They've tore up the holler put'in in shopping places, subdivisions, apartments
and townhouses years ago. This un comes from right here. It's an oldie but still a goody and a doozy! If you've been round this blog for sometime you may remember when I wrote about this for the first April A-Z I participated in.

So, a coupla years ago two feller's who live up over the mountain not far from here was a cuss'n, argue'n, fuss'n, fued'n and a fight'n. Not right shore what the reason was. I reckon certain folks 'round here don't right need a reason to fight,  fuss and feud. 

It could'a been a baby mama drama or one of those yo momma things who knows... anyway back to the story... 

Not sure whose idea it was to meet in the road at sundown either. One feller, he came with a knife and a book on carpentry. The other feller must've said, "I don't think so scooter" and came with a six shooter and the book on Christmas. 

After everything was over, which lasted about the same amount of time as the O.K. Corral, yep just 'bout thirty seconds and it was all over with.  Two men are down, one feller in the driveway by the car who brought the book on carpentry was sufferin' a gun shot wound. The other feller who brought the book on Christmas was lay'n in the yard and bleed'n pretty fierce from a stab wound. The End...

The police and the meat wagon came by to sort it all out. I reckon no one got in trouble fer it be'cuz I read the story in the local paper but never read 'bout a trial be'in held fer it.

After hearing about this I have to share my thoughts. What a quinky dink! Seriously, now who would'a thunk it? Okay don't get your panties in a bunge, I really wasn't laughing because of two stupid people who now are both injured, bleeding and now needing immediate medical attention as entertaining as it sounds... I was laughing because of this

#1- The whole thought of shootouts in the town square like in the days of the old wild west.
#2- I pictured the old undertaker rushing out to measure them for their old pine boxes.
#3- The old preacher reading last rites,
#4- The Sheriff standing quietly by

And I don't know but all of those old Western movies I've ever watched came rushing to my brain. It was like I could hear someone banging on the old piano keys playing an out of tune, "Camp Town Races"

Folks, there is a reason why Confucius says: "Never take a knife to a gunfight" Didn't someones mother once say, "Life is like a box of chocolates?"


  1. I believe it was Forrest Gump who said, "Life is like a box of chocolates."

    I understand the knife and the gun. What I don't get is why either of them brought a book. Did they plan on reading each other to death???

  2. Wanted to let you know I included you on the HERE'S TO YOU post.

  3. In days gone by Sheriff might have just said "Needed Shooting!" and leave it at that. Guy with the knife obviously forgot the #1 rule of winning a gun fight: Bring one! Lol


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