Friday, May 20, 2016

Can We Laugh For Just A Minute?

Now in dealing with all of this, I have on occasion had some laugh moments. For a time I felt so guilty that I was able to laugh when something horrible was happening to my kid. I didn't want to be accused of having that disease they call PBA or whatever it's called on the infomercial when people just laugh out loud for no reason. I mean seriously now I carry menopausal hormones around like luggage. I can cry one moment and laugh the next. But of course if that happens at the wrong time they will tell you, "we have a pill for that now."

Anyway here are some of my laughable moments...

When I was invited to join a support group for those who love heroin addicts my first thought was,
I think there needs to be groups for those people like me and maybe others too who have survived loving a heroin addict and didn't need bail money.

I have days where I think after this is all over I'm gonna need some rehab myself if I keep drinking wine in the box... with a straw. Especially now that I found I can fit the box into my go.

Ever have an Intervention? Oh those are some fun times aren't they? They make that shit look so easy on the TV shows don't they?

Now many years ago when we first found out our son was using heroin someone told me that he needed an intervention. The way it is described to you, you picture it ending up like Buffy and Jody from Family Affair and of course Mr. French will come along to save the day.

Oh no. It is totally the opposite!

We tried it... twenty eight times. Now ours wasn't as fancy as those on TV its highly unlikely we'll ever try that again.

They said start it with telling your loved one how their using makes you feel... So here I go. I did it Christmas Vacation style... I looked him straight in the eye and told him what a cheap, lying, no good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm headed, sack of monkey shit he is! Boy I swear to God If my back, knees and hips weren't hurting so bad I'd probably kick it up Gangnam or at least Chuck Norris style on your ass right now. Hallelujah! Holy shit! Hand me the Geritol and the Fukitol!

Of course then I was told I was not being sensitive. Hello you said to tell him exactly how I feel dude. Are you kidding me? I have some tourettes moments just waiting to be unleashed.

Oh I try like hell to be sensitive but I just want you to know it is very hard for me to tolerate sensitivity right now.

Okay I'll be sensitive. Sorry son about that last comment. I'll kick your ass Ninja Style.

Anyway the son using heroin felt like he was being mistreated. Imagine that? He felt mistreated. That is a mild term for how they will act when they are pushed into a corner. He lashed out like a rabid animal. It played out like several scenes from, The Exorcist.

He had me convinced that everyone was using heroin. His brothers and sister, all his family members. The old man next door was a junkie and he even threw the mailman under the bus. If I would have believed him even the dog was shooting up.

In the end of many long hours, several scenes from the movie The Exorcist our Intervention ended up like the Exorcism of Emily Rose. We didn't need the professional interventionist we needed a Bishop here blessing the house with oils and smudging the rooms with sage dude. 

Oh no we will not be having an Intervention here. In many circles I am still considered, insensitive. I don't know I don't really understand todays generation do you?



  1. And kicking ass Ninja style is serious!
    I'm sure after a while, reasoning just goes out the window. Twenty-eight times? I'd lose patience around time number three.

  2. Alex LOL on the ninja style of kicking ass. :) OMGosh just some fun times I will never repeat. When they are using no. Heroin shuts down the part of the brain that deals with empathy and sympathy so they often laugh right in your face. That hurts.

    The only time I could get any reaction from him was kirking out on him.
    Yep 28 times. We look back on those crazy times and wonder what we were thinking. I told ya we are some slow learners here.

    The last time he was drug sick and it ended in him contemplating then attempting a suicide so seriously that is the reason we have chosen never again to do this again. He already knows how we feel.

  3. He thought he was being mistreated? I'd take that as a challenge and show him mistreatment!

  4. God, what a mess... another of those hells I hope satan gets to enjoy for a thousand year space of his eternity.

  5. L Diane Wolf- LOL I think that is the way I took it at the time I just didn't realize it which causes a whole other set of emotions. It's likely that is why ours always turned out really bad. :(

    CW Martin- Oh it is a mess. The hell fire and brimstone is what I wish on the high scale dealers of this poison.

  6. Sensitive and truth don't always mix.


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